Connections of Intent: A view from the studio: Part 4

Connections of Intent: A view from the studio Part 4

In the previous post I laid out the thoughts written in my studio journal along with a page as reference to how I sort through thoughts and ideas in regards to the direction of the painting and the objects within.

I am in the process of glazing on the painting now. This is the technical aspect of using a medium, a mixture of turps and varnish, in which to float color laying down a nearly transparent glaze on top of the painted surface. There is no regret in this process for once it is laid down it cannot be taken back up or altered. Intense and highly emotional; it exhausts and at the same time exhilarates.

Perhaps it is a metaphor for life: this idea of abject risk and the courage to leap; to find safety within the knowledge that one has done the preparation to be able to, at the very least, trust in having a firm foundation to leap from; to then embrace and let go.

There is a drying time involved before being able to lay down another glaze, and it is this aspect of glazing that can give a painting it’s rich sense of light and shadow.

I had promised a further look into the studio journal, using a section of one area within this painting, so here is a more detailed look at the painting along with some poetry and the symbolic references:

This page is from the 6^th of February and is a detailed description of the book on the lower left side of the painting. It is, in essence a map of the imagery painted upon the pages, the symbolic nature of each object laid down.

The images:

 God’s eye and the moon

Symbol for transcendental consciousness

Ohm- breath of God

Tree of life with all knowledge upon its’ ever growing branches spring froms the symbol of infinity

Words hate and fear  overshadowed by the shadow of the white shaped winged spirit

Music staff and notes

Pieces of poetry

Elemental symbol:earth,water,fire,air

Vesica piscis:center of two circles circumference  where their outer edge transects the axis point  symbolizes the second stage of creation (seed of life that comes from God- God’s consciousness began from the 1^st sphere journeyed to the furthest edge where it formed the second circle)

These ideas and thoughts compel me and are the foundation from which I find excitement and paint. But, once again, this information is only found by those who have stumbled upon the information in their own studies, so they add to the depth of the painting but they don’t carry the weight, so to speak. That has to come from the nature of being a painter and the movement of color and light, shadows and objects and their interplay that creates an emotional respones first of all.

spirit  soars

            up from fear releashed

casting

            deepening need

shadowed upon book’s traced

            succombing, letting go

in this lifes choice

             embraced into harmony’s grace.

Here is the progression in photographs:

Beginning Image

2nd week

3rd week: 2.1.14

4th week 2.8.14

5th week 2.16.14

"The Reunion of Memory" 72"x53" oil on canvas 2014

As I finish glazing I now need to turn to the next painting. When this piece is dry enough I will frame the last three paintings and then post them here.  JDW

Connections of Intent: A view from the studio: Part 3

Connections of Intent: A view from the studio: Part 3

From the last blog I posed this idea:

Without turning inward towards finding understanding at that soulful level do we risk being consumed by fears and desires that lay all around us?  How do we navigate this journey through our lives?  That is the question.

As an artist how do I translate these thoughts into paint? I know how to write about this concept in great detail, but in paint you are working with color, movement, marks, and an illusion of dimensionality…where are the guides towards being able to deconstruct and unfold ideas onto this flat surface?

In fact, if you have my book you will know that I write extensively and make multiple drawings of the image and deconstruct the symbolism of the objects so I understand the language that are the objects (like the words) that will tell the story. But I am still left with how will the painting carry the message?

At the end of the day, unless there is either text or a diagram showing the relationship of symbolic reference to objects, most everyone will be left to their own devices in order to understand the painting. That is where the power of paint comes in. If, and this is always a big if; if I am fully immersed in the concept of the symbolic idea and in a meditative state then the very act of painting transcribes the idea through the color, movement and usage of shadow and light to emotionally move the viewer through the language of the paint.

This is the stepping out of the intellect and into the soul using the thousands of hours of learning the how of painting to just then, be in the moment and paint. Not a bad way to live our daily lives as well, this idea of always living in the moment.

But I promised a look into the journal in regards to this painting.

January 26, 2014

The Duality:

Dark figure rearing- fear (Looming, pervasive, encroaching, encompassing, weighted) the darker figures behind the figure holding the heart and pointing

            Grief lies within

            Doubt lingers in the multitude of faces-a kind of hunger that consumes

Light figure-illuminated belief  (Coming out of the mirrored reflection: angelic, flowing, liberating, ascending) on right side of painting

              The beckoning outstretched hand-feather tumbles from the hand,

             lightweight, symbol of hope’s wing

           

The hand that holds illuminating light (energy)

Illuminating Truth-that energetic consciousness that liberates us into our purpose

The twin trees: through the forest we must travel-that place out of nature that loosens the mind and reconnects us back to the elemental. Shadows linger, but there is a glow of hope

Mirrors: illuminated truth and the “seeing hand” (the portal that allows the body to jump into the next existence, the spiritual consciousness)- the smaller mirror the figure is pointing to

Larger mirror: reflecting out the reality that surrounds, but also an emotional essence

Book of Truth-knowledge written as a guide

Compass

Clock: Time fragmented lost almost, discarded (lower right, discarded)

Masks discarded-the stripping back of the layers that protect us until we find our true selves

Spirits hover and Watchers watch

Behind the lighter angelic figure flow the ever-connected ancestors that await our call to help, to guide. We learn from the past in order to move into the future all the while living always in the Now…

Beyond the figure is the narcissistic figure-frozen in bending stare upon ego’s reflection-seen in the background

Orchids-balance of nature’s power to evoke beauty that transcends all mindless chaotic thought

These are some of my notes. Here is a page with the drawing and notes surrounding it:

Here is the progression in photographs:

beginning image

2nd week

3rd week

4th week

Next: progress and poetry and a detailed look at one section of the painting.  JDW

Connections of Intent: A view from the studio: Part 2

Connections of Intent: A view from the studio Part 2

The placement of objects leads to movement, which in turn hopefully leads to an emotional connection. It is by turns that the painting begins to take form within the context of content. All the while there is the act of marking, of laying down of brush strokes, which speaks to the action of painting and the making of a two dimensional object reflecting a three dimensional or even four dimensional space; the fourth being the space within one’s concept of thought and emotion that leads one into that spiritual consciousness beyond the daily ritual of existing.

Does painting have to have this connection to emotion, to ideas, to being about something? Of course not. But as I have stated before, this to me is not as compelling and, for me, holds little interest.

Painting is an illusion and within this illusion is another painted illusion; a dreamscape that is the entry into the drama that unfolds within the symbolic placement of objects within the painted space.

So what is the intention and how is it connected with the painting “Ancient Gates”? Here is the poem that started this new painting:

 In the holding heart

                                                My suffering comes

Undone,

                                                Borne of conscious need

Fully formed, collected

                                                From fiery sound.

Within ego’s gaze

                                                Frozen

Turned not inward

                                                Consumed,

To suffer in agony’s stare,

                                                Until

Fearful thoughts released.

It is in this,

                                                The cleansing purge

Flows.

January 25, 2014

And from “Ancient Gates”

The soul’s purchase

                                                From ancient need, left unquenchable,

                                    Discarded, unfulfilled.  Compelling upon

                                                Tenuous balance this continuous thread,

                                    Fibrous light forever pulsing, towards

                                                Future unknown...

(The full poem is in the previous post).

Purpose and direction. The intention of being and the soul’s purchase. How do we unravel our deepest intention and purpose? And who guides this process? These questions are directed by our histories and how we were raised to think and feel.

Without turning inward towards finding understanding at that soulful level do we risk being consumed by fears and desires that lay all around us?  How do we navigate this journey through our lives?  That is the question.

Next: the painting ideas, excerpts from my journal.   JDW

1st day: 1.16.14

2nd week: 1.30.14

Connections of Intent: A view from the studio: Part 1

I have begun working on new paintings after setting aside “The Dreamer’s Requiem” to dry so that I can frame it and  “In Silent Touch, My Purchase Seen”. Beginning new work is intense and very physical, especially since I like to begin more than one painting. In this case, I actually have begun four new canvases over a two day period, three of which you can see here.

I have now turned my attention towards the center painting and have been blocking out figures and objects that I hope will begin to tell the story symbolically, on which this painting idea rests. 

The flushing out of the theme is very fluid and one that I might share later on in the next post.  What I wanted to share today is a painting from ten years ago, which you can find in my book Pause Between Breaths (see jonathanwallacestudio.com).   

 “Ancient Gates” 87”x63” oil on canvas 2004

                      "Ancient Gates"

       The soul’s purchase

            From ancient need, left unquenchable,

       Discarded, unfulfilled.  Compelling upon

            Tenuous balance this continuous thread,

       Fibrous light forever pulsing, towards

            Future unknown.

       Ancient Gods haunt this hallowed grove,

            Carved in wood immortal stand

       Time forever traveling towards haunted release.

       Selves linger mute in shadowed tomb,

            Knowing always thy past to bring, in this,

       Connection gained, sonorous note.

           

       Yet denied, caution abandoned, onward stumbling blind

            And deaf to heralded song, lamenting, tired I long

            For purchase found.

       Connection, undying source, river coursing

            Through all eternity, ancient need in limbs bowed stretched

            Forever towards heaven’s crown.

       My body rough, driven to seek, fallen in moment’s pause

            Upon ancient gates, and graceful, thy release matched

            By winged light,

       Energetic form held deep, pulsing invisible hands

            Hold tight, bind myself to thee.

       And I, rejoice, struck in awe, seeing, finally beyond the need

            Unburdened, falling unto myself, lineage unbroken,

            Silent, unwavering, they stand,

       Entranced, now exposed, hands offered,

            Knowledge revealed,

       Ancestral steps, without peril, no longer concealed.           

                                                November 25, 2003

Connections. A decade apart yet connected. The question you have to ask yourself is how? What does each of these pieces draw from? Physicality, intent, emotions...?

This is what I'd like to share as I progress into this new painting.  JDW

Surrendering at great depths: A View from the studio

"Great leaps in consciousness result from surrendering oneself to God at great depth"  JDW

Recently I have been thinking a lot about connections, how we make them, what is authentic, how do we strengthen those bonds and keep them true. The life of the creative mind, from my perspective, naturally leans towards long periods of introspection. Perhaps from this dialogue that is required within oneself we quickly realize that we must face our Truth.

For each of us this is a different path. This is why we tend to become isolated as artists.  As we try to pass between the twin guardians of desire and fear to find this ephemeral truth we struggle alone along a path that is uniquely ours. These are the gifts buried deep within our soul patiently awaiting the moment of reconciliation. These truths that bring to light, out of the nights’ long embrace, like a candle flame that flickers in staggering relief upon shadowed veil, the reconciliation of a deeper knowledge.   

There is a price to be paid for this unburdening, perhaps only the afore mentioned isolation, but for some it is the unveiling of secrets long protected that must be unearthed, exposed, in order to come to their personal truth.

This idea of surrendering oneself at great depths, how do we do this?

For me as an observer and as a painter I see common threads to be pulled, an unveiling of sorts, that then I can sort through to find a piece that I can identify with. Once found I can tap into a universal consciousness and letting go of my ego, apply paint to canvas in a truly personal way.  After deep exploration I hope then that these brush strokes, objects, symbols and color and movement translate into paint transforming into something universal.

We have no choice in what God reveals to each of us. However it is of our choosing whom we reveal these sacred gifts to and how we go about it. This is our sacred task, the sharing.

And in this, connections are made and gifts are given.

It is only with the knowledge invisible

 that dwells within the fringes torn,

Whispers in the deepest of memories held

 exposing the infinite fabric of dreams,

                        Stuttering in languid thought

                                    that I, now, find purchase

                        Within the dreaming of language borne.

JDW    January 24, 2014

Inspiration: A view from the studio

I have been thinking a lot about inspiration, about success, about the constraints we put on ourselves as we travel throughout our lives. As I approach 63 years I look at my life that I have lived, mostly outside of convention, certainly not following the norm in accepted ways of having a career, and in some minds I have failed to achieve success.

Surely this has been brought home by the advent of social media, which allows one to look into the world, in my case, the art world and find out what I am not doing or what I have missed or am missing. This media has allowed me to write this blog and hope that it gets out to those who enjoy the musings, the glimpses into my painting world; and for that I am grateful.

But it also pushes against the life that I have lived and continue to live and causes an ache for something artificial at best. Don’t get me wrong, everyone wants their work in prestigous collections and museums, but that is not why I paint. Then I thought about something Thomas Merton wrote, something I came across years ago when I was reading his journals.

“Who can free himself from achievement and from fame, descend and be lost amid the masses of men? He will flow like the Tao unseen. Such is the perfect man. His boat is empty.”

To live without getting swept away by something outside ones self, to find a way to nurture our inner voice and still be a part of this life, that is the key. To flow within and navigate these tumultuous waters. To live not in the past, nor in the future, but in this moment always. That, to me, is the boat empty, always capable of filling, of experiencing life fully in the now.

It is enough to paint.

I posted the update photo below a couple of nights ago on my Facebook page and got back responses that reminded me that we all strive to make an impact, to leave behind something tangible.

I am blessed by the ability to create something out of a blank canvas and paint and if I am diligent in my reflection, in my prayer as I paint, I can transcend the ordinary for those brief moments and the result is an illusion come to life; a song in paint.

We all have a need to connect and I think we all want to inspire something, to provoke a reaction, whether it be a smile, a comment, a hug, even a silence; we yearn for this connection. As a painter I hope for that silent sense of awe in that moment of recognition that opens the door deeply into ones heart, ones soul. A big task that only seems to happen when I get my mind, my ego, out of the way and utilize the hundred’s of thousands of hours honing my craft by letting go and transcending, finding that illusive inspiration we all so crave.

Here is the painting that I have been working on these past two months. It is about that dreaming state where we let go, where we envision our better selves, where we transform from a ego’d, narcissistic mind into an energetic consciousness, a spirit based soul that lets go and embraces that illuminated truth that waits for our recognition. Born from hope, nurtured by those who have gone before us, freed from the shackles of the past and the future, alive in this moment created out of the dreamer’s requiem, it awakens our deeply held need to be, to awaken and to love.

This is success. This is inspiration for me. To embrace one’s better self and awaken into one’s purpose. It makes no difference what convention says, what is deemed as the proper way to navigate ones life. Step out side of convention and jump off the abyss that holds you back from being truly awake into your authentic life and let the convention be damned.

                 “The Dreamer’s Requiem”   68”x80” in progress 2014

JDW             January 12, 2014

Transitional Spaces: 12.19.13: Part 3

It is now the second week in December and I have been painting on this piece for over two months.  I am in the glazing stages, a process of layering translucent color upon color to achieve the light that my paintings hold. It is a process that, if done incorrectly, ruins the painting completely. It is intense and exhausting emotionally but gives me such joy when I step back from a canvas and see that I maintained my faith and held true.

                           “In Silent Touch My Purchase Seen”

                                  84”x60” oil on canvas 2013

                            Disparate

                                    Though they be

                            Distant, unimaginable, yet

                                    Divine in silent touch

                            Upon each singular moment

                                    In this, the tenuous convention

                            Trust, found, deep within to be.

                                     November 20, 2013

This painting comes out of the idea of finding purchase within this chaotic life, of finding a quiet balance, a quiet space within. Again, from my journal:

There are many gates that open upon this hill, this mountain that we all ascend towards understanding, towards enlightenment. Journeys that take one far and wide, to search, to struggle to find purchase and gain hope. It is this, to find that singular moment, that fragment, that glimpse that becomes the key that unlocks the gate into the garden of impassioned understanding free from convention and traditional thinking.

Angelic warriors, ancestors, those who have gone before, line up to offer solace, a shimmering glance of hope; a piece of illuminating light. This is the gift offered and one received. This is the purchase found that gains us balance as we continue upon this ascended path.

It is in this act of transcending that common value, of stepping outside of the humaneness, rejecting the chaos that surrounds and consumes us, even for brief moments. In this we find a quiet strength and a glimmer of the truth that we hold inside.

December 6, 2013

The next step is to frame this piece so I can see it as it will be when finished. Then after long hours of contemplation finish the glazing even as I begin the next canvas.

JDW